|  BlueGoddess | Sep 1, 2007 7:02pm | | I have Fibromyalgia, 3 herniated discs in my back and neck, arthritis in my back, degenerative disc disease... I cant take my children to do things they want to do b/c it hurts me. I can't even go shopping. I began to get shots in my back recently, that helped somewhat. I lost so much time. I get very depressed and I think my biggest problem is that my husband gets tired of it. How do other ppl deal with their spouses reactions to their chronic pain complaints? I try not to complain but then he gets angry when he sees me flinch or something. Im actually afraid of it destroying my marriage. |
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| | coop2 | Sep 8, 2007 5:32pm | Hi Blue. I feel your pain...literally. I too fear my condition destroying my marriage. My wife has been very understanding and supportive so far,but that doesn't stop me from apologizing 8 or 9 times a day for wining about how bad I feel. Sometimes I just hold it all in and do my best to not wince or grimace when I hurt.She says no but I feel like sometimes all I do is complain and it must be wearing on her by now.I know my frustration level is sky high as docs haven't given me any answers,diagnosis, or relief. I'm pretty sure it's FMS but you know the docs have to test to rule out everything else. In the mean time I'm left with the pain, the depression and anxiety,the BLOODY RINGING in the ears, etc..
I wish I had some answers for you. I know communication is most important with me and my wife. We try and spend as much time together ALONE so we can sort out each other's feelings. She has told me that she is just as frustrated as I am, and just wants me to feel better.It is hard to see someone you love in pain all the time. Is it possible that your husband is feeling frustration that is being expressed(by your perception at least)as anger? I'm just shoot'n in the dark here, only you guys can figure that out for your selves. Hope it helps to know you're not alone.
Peace,
coop |
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| | BlueGoddess | Sep 8, 2007 11:52pm | He says the exact same thing your wife does... but he gets to where hes afraid to even make love b/c he "doesnt want to hurt me" This kills me. And the meds they give me... when Im cremated at the end of my life I will have to go into a radiation tube I think... LOL
My ears ring... does your SKIN ever hurt? Holy hell! Some days I dont even want to wear clothes I just want to stand there with my arms and legs outstretched and scream. My entire body feels like... I dont know-- fire ants are INSIDE of me. Ive only met one other person with this, but Goddess it kills me. No one can touch me when it hurts like that.
Thank you so much for your encouragement... Have they even done the bloody pressure points on you to see if its FIbromyalgia? Thats all a Rheumatologist would do.. there are no blood tests.. They push on these spots.. and you will want to punch them dead in the face. And they know. Thats it. Over and done. Mine is way more than just the Fibro as if thats not enough... i keep tellin ppl to shoot me... pffftttt!
Feel better and may you walk in light, love and peace... :) Bleu |
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| | coop2 | Sep 9, 2007 1:37pm | Yes the ear ringing. on a good day it is(only)like a high pitched hearing test tone. On a bad day(like today)I had to ask my wife if there were cicadas when we were out on the deck 'cause that's what it sounds like inside my head, only higher pitched.
Yes sometimes my skin hurts. In fact that's what led us to suspect FMS. My ankles and calves were hurting quite badly one day. I call it "ankle bolts"
'cause it feels like a rusty bolt inserted through my ankle with stabbing/shooting pain up the shin and calf sort of like shin-splints feel.
Anyway, my wife massaged my foot some and when she just ran her hand over my shin it felt as though her fingers were tracing acid and going to burst through the skin. She said that it reminded her of a friend of hers that has FM. Been reading everything I can since then. Everything I read sounds like a page out of my journal. I haven't been to the rheumatologist yet.
My md doc is working on ruling out everything else. He's not convinced it's FM yet since I have other issues: anxiety/depression, slow metabolic rate, hypotyroid. All my blood work keeps coming back normal and the NSAID's and Medrol pack(steroids)haven't done anything for my pain. I want to just do the stupid tender point test and get on with my life.(It's been two years of this crap and counting)But he says you have to rule out all this other crap too, not just the tender point test. I don't know, tp test seems pretty conclusive to me. I just want to know what it is and make the changes in my life I need to and get on with my life. I'm so tired of the emotional roller coaster of getting my hopes up with each new test or drug and still feeling like crap. I know how you feel I've thought about trying a little "lead poisoning" on some of my bad days too. The guys at work already joke about putt'n the old horse down 'cause I p+m like an old woman! :P
Today is a good day for my mood and pain, I thank God for that.Thank you for corresponding w/me, it helps,(I guess misery loves company?).
Anyway I should stop typing while I can still feel my wrists.
(very gentle)(((((Hugs))))
Peace,
coop |
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Sponsor |  gyrlcentric | Dec 4, 2007 11:00am | i haven't the levels you both are having to deal with. i have lived with chronic lower back pain for over 5 years now and tinnitus for longer than that. during that time i have developed the skin pain / nerve pains, i call it both because when it is hurting on my face or arms it is just the skin but like the last several days it is being caused by a nerve because what started just pain from the skin of my instep is now pain from there all the way up to my lower back. i have had MRIs and x-rays and the doctors have never found an explanation, FM has been suggested but i don't trust my doctors any more to help me identify and deal with anything. i too struggle with depression and anxiety and those tend to be what is blamed for my troubles.
i have found some hope for me though, my chiropractor studies alternative medicines and therapies and had me do a test on my adrenal system which found that my cortisol levels were out of whack and very low. i have started an adrenal therapy using whole food dietary supplements and that has helped the chronic fatigue and exhaustion tremendously.
it makes me angry sometimes, all my test results that my regular physician had me do all turned out saying i am the healthiest person they know. i do the test my chiropractor recommended and we look at it and besides the low cortisol levels several other systems they tested were borderline. i read about the adrenal tests and the way regular physicians typically have it tested is to see if the patients have a reaction at all. this is not an accurate test of what your body is dealing day to day only whether your adrenal system is completely exhausted or not. now i wonder how many other of the tests that my regular physician had me do are that inaccurate.
i get so very tired of being in pain all the time
at least there are still good days and people like my chiropractor
ttfn
~brat~ |
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|  littlemermaid85 | Dec 9, 2007 6:13pm | I'm dealing with severe fibromyalgia, especially here in the snowy west in the wintertime. We had a series of huge snow storms over the weekend, and I have been in bed for the majority of the time. I take Ultram for the pain, which is very effective in my "off season", such as summer when I'm not dying of pain, just living with moderate pain. But, in the winter time, it's severe-- my doctor just called me in 20 Lortab-- he acted as if he was doing me some big favor. So, now I'm taking the Lortab, feeling a slight amount of relief, but also panic, knowing I only have 20 pills here.
I'm sorry that you all worry about what this is doing to your marriage. I was divorced almost two years ago, and I know between this chronic pain business and the fact that we have two autistic children, we were never going to make it. There were so many things working against us working that I don't know how we survived being married for 15 years. Although, surprisingly, without all the guilt I felt while married for hurting, I hurt much less than I used to. It may simply be the fact that I don't have the worry (of upsetting my husband) that used to be associated with all those times I felt so rotten.
Don't get me wrong. I still feel like crap, particularly since it's another hellish winter in Utah. But, I can hurt and not feel GUILT as well for something that I can't control. I would love to hear if there's any pain meds that are available other than the Ultram which I have taken for years. It doesn't have the narcotic like side effects, but it also only works if you are constantly taking it. It doesn't kick in and work if you have been having pain, like a narcotic would.
How do you find a good doctor to help you deal with the pain that actually GETS that you're having massive amounts of pain?
Hang in there, everyone. There's life beyond all of this. And for heaven's sakes, take care of yourself, love your family, and feel guilt when you have actually done something wrong, like killed somebody. Having chronic pain is not a choice you have made and you're not running around talking about it to bring everyone down. You just feel pain and need someone to know and understand.
I got you there. Fibromyalgia sucks, as does the depression and anxiety that go along with it. I have tried exercise, such as going to Curves, where the exercise machines are fairly low impact, but doing those motions to strengthen my muscles put me into bed for days almost instantly. So, I'm stuck making payments to them for the rest of the year since I signed on as a year customer. Maybe it won't mess up my body as much in the spring or summer. Until then, I'm going to be trying to survive like the rest of you.
Be at peace, my friends. You're doing all you can do.
-- Laurie |
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| | nails58 | Dec 11, 2007 9:49pm | | about a year ago I developed continual migraines; was taking 4-6 codeine painkillers sometimes a day for chronic arthritis, since stopped - but believe I must've become intolerant (as in having no benefit at all). has anyone been through this? at present I'm also only sleeping round 4 hours nightly, exacerbating in itself, and a great mental rollercoaster |
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Sponsor | | gyrlcentric | Dec 12, 2007 4:25am | | 7: they are usually a symptom of something else wrong, what have your doctors done to try to pinpoint that? |
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| | nails58 | Dec 12, 2007 6:15am | | mri, lumbar stab, anti-depressant which i've stopped as it was of no benefit; guess he just ascribes it to depression. which pain can lead to and its a vicious cycle; lately i've just been (isolating) and chilling as much as poss., su has actually helped insofar as i work on inspiration and all the available visual and written beauty here diverts my attention upwards |
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Sponsor | | gyrlcentric | Dec 12, 2007 5:56pm | i have celiac disease and a my adrenals were all messed up and the doctors found nothing i had to figure out what was wrong myself (the celiac is genetic and from my mom but the doctors keep saying i don't have it even though the diet works for me) and with the help of my chiropractor who also studies natural healing; i haven't had any migraines in ages and my constant headaches are not nearly so bad.
my recommendation would be to adjust your lifestyle, pick something like your diet and isolate common allergens for 6 weeks at a time and see if that helps, do the same for anything you put on your skin, laundry etc...
hope you find some sort of resolution :D
*hugs* |
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